Hit me with your Best Shot!?!?

I can clearly remember the last time we sent a team to Cambodia. I said “Even though I would love to go to Cambodia, I could never do it because of the SHOTS!” Fast Forward to 2008, and WFC is forming a new team to go to Cambodia. God is speaking to my heart, telling me that I need to go. I decide to listen to His voice, instead of my fear, and I add my name to the list. And so begins the countdown to my date with sheer terror.

This is a fear that has been with me as long as I can remember. One of my earliest memories from Elementary School is a day where I was called to the nurse’s office to receive some vaccination nobody warned me that I was getting. I screamed and cried and ran away shouting, “I’m not supposed to get this, I’ve already had it!” Many years later, I even begged the nurses not to give me the shot that would keep me from bleeding to death after giving birth to my son, but they insisted I get it. Some people say to me “How can you be afraid, you are a nurse?” That is true, I do not fear the needle, and I have given countless thousands to other people. But when it is my flesh that is being pierced, all rational thought is completely discarded. I’m very glad that the airline tickets were bought early, because that meant I could not back out. So, after putting it off, I finally called to schedule our appointment. Of course, the doctor said I could come in that week, but my heart was definitely not ready for it yet! I chose a day closer to the end of the month.

All too quickly, that day arrived. Even though I knew a small army of people was praying for me, my stomach had still been in knots for several days before, and from the moment I awoke, all I wanted to do was cry. I got into my husband’s car, and bawled like a baby. It didn’t help my nerves any that traffic was so bad, we were 15 minutes late for our appointment. I didn’t want to go, but I didn’t want to be late either! I made it very clear to the doctor and nurses how terrified I was about the whole thing. So the time came for us to decide, with the doctor’s direction, what vaccines we were going to get. The count just kept getting higher and higher. Polio (Can’t I get the sugar cube?) Tetanus (The one that hurts!) Typhoid, and two Hepatitis (A and B). And then the even better news, Hepatitis requires 2 more boosters later, and I need to get MMR(Measles, Mumps, Ruebella) too! Finally, it comes down to the moment of truth. I turn on my iPod, listening to one of my favorite Newsboys tunes, and bury my head in my husband’s chest, crying like a baby again. 1 down, 2 down, 3 down, time to switch arms. Hepatitis B (of course, one that I need to get more of) burns. Now I am chanting to myself “Only one more, only one more” Then, it is over! Tony’s turn. He sails through like an old pro, and takes his seat next to me. Suddenly he’s making his way back to the examining table to lie down. He learned the hard way the importance of having breakfast before having 5 shots! Good thing the nurses brought some snacks in for me.

Although I know I have to go back again in a month, I do not think I will be nearly as frightened as I was the first time.

~Sue Kaskoun